You’ve got to hide it from the kids.

Just the facts ma'am

In anticipation of Silent Hill, I picked up Condemned: Criminal Origins this weekend. If any of you spent time in arcades during the early 90’s, you’ll remember the image above. I guess the denizens of Condemned preferred mini-golf to arcades, because they certainly didn’t adhere to Mr. Sessions’ message. In short, the enemies are fucked up. What’s worse–or better depending on how you feel about horror games–is that the enemies are all human. You wouldn’t know it just to look at them. Wait until you see the first “crawler”, and you’ll know what I mean.

The game is seriously brutal, too. There is a morbid satisfaction in tasering some doped up schmuck and beating him with a lead pipe Clue-style. It’s practically feral. And when I say doped up, I mean crazy, crazy people trying to smash your head in and find the delicious candy inside. Some of them look like evolution has granted them pale skin and sonar, like cave fish.

Anywho, I thought I’d do a feature proper on the game this weekend and then cap it off next weekend with my impressions of Silent Hill. It’s a two week Creep Fest. Ooh boy.


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