I enjoyed the original Lost Planet, but I wouldn’t call myself a fan. The third-person shooting was vanilla at best and frustrating at worst. The story and characters were forgettable — really, do you remember any of it? But man, those bugs.

The giant bugs and beasties, known as Akrid, were the reason to play Lost Planet. I’m no scientist, so I can only postulate that somewhere, deep within the gamer’s brain, there’s a pleasure center dedicated solely to the destruction of glowing, orange weak points.

After playing through the first three “episodes” of Lost Planet 2 — each split into several chapters — the game seems to strike most of the same chords as the original. The formula hasn’t changed much; the combat is exactly the same; and there’s no real story to speak of — the characters don’t even have names!

The only notable changes in the sequel are the additions of four-player co-op and a few, much larger Akrid. Unfortunately, I can’t say whether co-op makes for an engaging gameplay experience or not, as I was unable to test it out. What I can tell you is that co-op is bound to be better than playing alone, because that isn’t very fun at all. As for the bigger baddies? I’m not sure bigger is necessarily better.
Gallery: Lost Planet 2

As Lost Planet 2 is so similar to the original, it comes with all the ups and downs of the first game. The negatives include some of the more annoying aspects of the combat, especially what I call “the death loop.” Basically, there are quite a few enemy weapons and attacks that can knock down your character. Typically, these knock-down attacks require a few seconds of “recharge” time before they can be used again by your enemies, which is about how long it takes you to get back up. You do the math.

The frustrations aren’t just limited to combat. The grappling hook is back, and again there’s often no way to predict if it will safely carry you over a chasm or simply drop you to your death.

The most obvious addition to the game is the co-op option. My recommendation: Play Lost Planet 2 with friends. When playing alone, your AI teammates are about as useful as a sackful of wet bread. They occasionally take down an enemy soldier or activate a checkpoint — which still requires you to mash the B-button like an idiot — but usually they just roam around aimlessly. Once, an enemy soldier dropped down right in front of my entire squad, which proceeded to do nothing but stare at him.

“But what about the giant monsters,” you ask? I’ll admit that the Akrid are much more interesting to fight than the human enemies. Rather than simply absorbing a few bullets and keeling over, the Akrid have specific patterns and weaknesses that must be exploited, making them more enjoyable to take down. The only issue I have with the Akrid so far is the boss battles. Specifically, the bosses take a long time to defeat, leading to bouts of boredom (though I suppose more human players might speed things up).

In particular, the boss of the third episode — a humongous sand worm — was a nightmare. The battle is fought on a train with a big cannon mounted on top. In order to defeat the sand worm, you have to pick up gigantic shells, load them into the cannon, and then shoot one of several weak points on the monster. It might sound like a great idea for a boss fight, but it’s just poorly designed for one player.

Frustration, thy name is sand worm!

First of all, the cannon itself rotates about as fast as a northbound snail on a southbound turtles back, and both the snail and turtle are covered in molasses. Complicating matters, there are various tasks to keep up with, from dumping coolant into the cannon to charging the bullet-shells — most accomplished by, uh-huh, mashing the B-button. I can imagine the process is easier with co-op players, and maybe even fun, but it was nothing but an exercise in frustration in single-player mode.

Oh, and when you do kill the worm, it primes itself for one last attack that will destroy the train and instantly fail the mission, forcing you to restart the entire chapter. If you don’t already know that attack is coming, it will kill you. In other words, actually killing the thing is guaranteed to take one more try than it should.

Beyond the frustration, the most conspicuous aspect of playing Lost Planet 2 thus far is my pervasive sense of boredom. Like the first Lost Planet, this is not a bad game, but it’s not great either. I can only hope co-op will make the experience more palatable. The Akrid are still the selling point, and hopefully they feature more prominently in the rest of the campaign than they do in the first three episodes. With so many AAA games already available this year — and more on the horizon — Lost Planet 2 needs all the glowing, orange weak points it can get. Decent multiplayer couldn’t hurt either.

The first thing you should know about Bayonetta is that the story is entirely unimportant. It makes no sense. At all. Period. There’s something about two warring clans, one of witches and one of sages (Light vs. Dark — yada yada yada). There’s a “journalist” who inexplicably carries a grappling hook; an ancient god that’s being resurrected; and, at one point, there’s even a dance-off.

Now, forget about all of that. You’ll be skipping through it on your second playthrough anyway. And that’s really the point. If you like action games in the vein of Devil May Cry or Ninja Gaiden, you’ll probably start your second playthrough of Bayonetta exactly when I did: immediately after the first.

Bayonetta is as meaty as third-person action games get. Again, it’s a lot like Devil May Cry, which makes sense given both games were created by Hideki Kamiya. You control Bayonetta, an impossibly tall witch with guns in her high heels and a bodysuit made of her own hair (more on that later). Apart from her somewhat bizarre appearance, she has plenty in common with DMC’s Dante. Actions are fairly straightforward — jump, punch, kick and shoot — and within minutes of familiarizing yourself with the various combos, you’ll be stylishly slaughtering angels (Bayonetta is a witch, remember).

While the core combat is familiar, there are enough extensions that it never gets dry. For one, the finishing moves, which summon giant fists or high-heeled boots, add an especially enjoyable aspect to the ass-kicking. More important than the finishers, however, is “Witch Time.” You may have guessed that this is merely bullet time in disguise, and you’re right, but the way it’s used is what matters. Dodging an attack the instant before it lands activates Witch Time, which gives Bayonetta the breathing room needed to pull off some of her more devastating moves. It’s this mechanic that really kept me engaged in the combat, doing my darnedest to dodge enemy attacks.

There are also plenty of advanced techniques. Dodge Offset, for example, lets Bayonetta interrupt a combo, dodge, and then take up the same combo where she left off. It takes nimble fingers and perfect timing, but it’s definitely satisfying to begin a combo, dodge, initiate Witch Time, and then finish an enemy off with a giant boot to the head — a sequence that will net you an Achievement if you can pull it off.

Of course, there are myriad weapons to try out. Each combination of weapons — you can equip two at a time — yields unique moves, too, so mixing and matching is encouraged. As if all that weren’t enough, you can also purchase new techniques from the in-game store, as well as accessories that enable more techniques. The fact that Bayonetta does all this and manages to feel less complex than Devil May Cry 4 is just icing.

Graphically, Bayonetta fluctuates between show-stopping and surprisingly dated. The character models share the same plastic look that’s so common in Japanese game design (think Ninja Gaiden or Dead or Alive), and there are many static environments and last-gen environmental effects. That said, the action set pieces — including an absolutely inspired tribute to Space Harrier — are incredibly well orchestrated and stunningly gorgeous, as are the bizarre, screen-filling bosses.

Finally — and I’m just not sure how to smoothly transition into this — there are the creepy sexual undertones that pervade the entire game. Bayonetta’s suit is made entirely of her own hair, and she uses her hair to summon demons. Consequently, her suit is almost entirely stripped off in order to create said demons. Considering you’ll be summoning a giant fist or boot every ten seconds or so, Bayonetta is nearly naked just as often. And that’s before you factor in cinematics and the numerous times the camera crash zooms on Bayonetta’s lady parts. One of the game’s monsters, an angel with a womanly form, is introduced by essentially masturbating directly in front of the camera, during which — and I’m not kidding — her crotch glows with an angelic light.

The character design and cutscene direction (and the story, to some extent) feel like something designed by horny, twelve-year-old boys. If the actual combat wasn’t so refined, it might be hard to get past that. Fortunately, the combat is refined and easily outweighs the awkward kinky stuff. With lots of weapons, brilliant combat, multiple difficulties, and loads of unlockables, there are plenty of reasons to keep coming back to Bayonetta after the first playthrough. Just skip the cinematics.